3 Essential Steps for Healthy Personal Change

Have you ever seen this kind of story play out either in your own life or in somebody else’s?

Let’s say there’s a woman named Nicole who is unhappy with life. She just really doesn’t feel very successful, so she vows to change. She ends up taking massive action and focusing like she never has before. Things start to change for Nicole, and she starts stacking up victories. Her persistence eventually leads her to achieve great financial success!

…But she’s still not happy, and she can’t figure out what went wrong.

Do you know someone like Nicole?

My guess is that you’ve probably seen something like that played out before. Of course, the scenario could be different. It doesn’t have to be about money. It could be about getting into a relationship, or losing weight, or moving to a new location, or having a child, or changing careers, or any number of other things.

It’s not that any of those goals won’t bring happiness or fulfillment either. They absolutely can! Change can be wonderful — especially if you pursue it in a healthy way and set yourself up for success.

Here are my three tips for doing just that:

  1. Get Yourself.
  2. Value Yourself.
  3. Get Over Yourself.

I’ll explain. 😉

1. Get Yourself.

This one should be no secret and is perhaps the most obvious place to start. If you don’t yet understand the power of Self-Awareness, it’s probably time to start…

I mean, Socrates is the one who coined the phrase, “know thyself”, and the guy’s been dead for over 2,400 years!

It makes sense that you truly have to understand who you are and what makes you “tick” before starting on your journey to create change.

Taking the Color Code assessment is a great way to begin this process of self-discovery, as we help you determine the type of Driving Core Motive that powers your personality and affects your emotional needs and wants.

But let’s move on to the next step…

2. Value Yourself.

Here’s where the wheels come off for a lot of people. They assume that by creating the change they want by adopting new habits, etc., they will be led to happiness.

This is not always true.

It CAN be, but you have to start from a healthy place where you value yourself first. Too often when it comes to change, people are trying to create it because they have a deeply-rooted belief that they are not good enough.

What I mean is that somebody, somewhere, or perhaps society/popular culture, convinced them that they are not valuable just as they are — that somehow, they are fundamentally flawed. We can even convince ourselves of this.

Sometimes this way of thinking happens when we constantly compare ourselves to others. I’m a Yellow, so it might be easy for me to look at a Red who is completely focused on their career and wish I could be that way. Then I might look at a Blue who is naturally organized and feel bad about myself for not being so as well. Then I begin to envy somebody with a White personality because of how patient they are.

Every time we compare ourselves to others in a way that results in negative self-talk, we chip away at our own feelings of self-worth.

Comparisons are dangerous, because we forget that just because somebody has different talents than ours, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own special abilities as well — and that they are not just as remarkable!

(Please Note: Comparisons are equally dangerous if they make us feel superior to others because they can’t do certain things that we can do.)

If we first value who we are, then we embark on the change process because we want to add to what is already good, then we know that the change can and usually will lead to the increase in happiness that we are seeking.

3. Get Over Yourself.

The cartoonist Walt Kelly is famous for writing, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

It’s true, isn’t it? We have a knack for getting in our own way. Sometimes our very strengths taken too far create limitations. Take Blues for example. Once, when talking about Blue strengths and limitations, I asked a group what the difference was between being detail conscious (a Blue strength) and being a perfectionist (a Blue limitation).

In a quick-witted reply, one of the participants quipped, “About five hours!”

So we have to take inventory of ourselves. Let’s focus on our strengths, but not allow our limitations to dictate the outcome of our efforts. This takes constant, vigilant monitoring, but it can be done.

The other way that we need to “get over ourselves” is when we just take ourselves too seriously. In the change process, a little humility can go a very long way.

My promise to you is that if you apply these three steps to the changes in life that you are trying to make, you will give yourself every opportunity for a lasting, happy and positive outcome.

Onward and upward!

Thank you – Jeremy Daniel

Shared by: Deborah Bryson, Certified Color Code Trainer

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Four Great Gift Ideas for Your Yellow Child

Yellows can be pretty fun to buy gifts for. Their enthusiasm plays its part well in gift situations, which can make it fun for the gift giver. If you suspect your child is a Yellow, it may not be hard to pick out gifts for them, especially if the gift is fun. However, gift giving is all the more fun when you feel you have an idea that will make the recipient glow with joy. If your Yellow child has a birthday coming up, here are four gift ideas that will hopefully tickle their love of fun.

1. Surprise them with a puppy.

Is there anything more fun than a puppy? 😉 Surprising kids with pets is a classic, possibly cliche, but memorable gift. Yellows can likely relate to puppies a lot, with their enthusiastic, happy and carefree natures. Surprising your child with a puppy would likely send them through the roof with excitement.

2. Take them on a one-on-one date.

Yellows love attention. If you’ve got other kids, responsibilities, a job, etc., that compete for your attention, your Yellow child may be craving that time with you. For their birthday, plan an outing for just the two of you and make sure it involves something they find fun, even if it’s simple. Maybe you two can go out to ice cream, bowling or just to the duck pond to feed the ducks. Just make sure you shower them with love and attention.

3. Hide gifts around the house during the week.

Spread the birthday fun throughout the week by hiding little gifts around the house. They don’t have to be expensive items. Maybe you hide some bubbles under their bed and later blow bubbles in the backyard together. Another idea is to leave movie tickets in the mailbox for them to find and take them to a movie that night.

4. Try something new with them.

Yellow kids enjoy new experiences. For their birthday, go out and do something they’ve never done before. Maybe that’s rock climbing, mini-golfing, boating or even bowling. It’s your call!

We hope these ideas help you think of ways to make your Yellow child’s birthday wonderful. Yellows, what was your favorite birthday gift you received when you were a kid? Let us know in the comments!

—The Color Code Team

Shared by

Deborah Bryson

Certified Color Code Trainer 

Ask the Expert: Which of the Colors Is the Most Loving?

Which of the four Color Code personality styles tends to be the most loving?

Tricky question, isn’t it? … But I get that kind of thing a lot.

I think some people want to jump to a conclusion and say that Blues are the most loving. My guess is that they do this because we associate Blues as being the most caring, thoughtful, etc. While it is true that those particular personality strengths are most common for Blues, I submit to you that each of the four Colors expresses love in different—though equally significant—ways.

Therefore, our position is that no Color is naturally more “loving” than any other Color. Let’s take a look at how love might be communicated through the lens of each of the four Colors, keeping in mind that this list is not intended to be comprehensive.

How Reds Express Love

One example of how a Red will express love is that they help you solve problems. Reds will “fix” things, but they don’t like to waste their time. So, if you have a Red in your life who takes the time to understand your challenges and they set out to work to help you find and create solutions, that is a very loving gesture for a Red.

Trust me, if they don’t care about you, they won’t spend the time doing it.

How Blues Express Love

One way you will see this play out is in thoughtful, romantic gestures. Blues are the masters of this. They remember details and they use their thoughtfulness to create those exquisitely special moments that you will never forget.

How Whites Express Love

Never underestimate the deep, loving power of patience. Whites are willing to listen to you. They consider where you are coming from, and they suspend their own judgement. And, when things aren’t perfect, they show their love through their willingness to wait and be patient for much, much longer than most people can manage.

How Yellows Express Love

One of the ways that Yellows express love is by being in the moment with you and by wanting to give you more and more of their “moments.” Yellows are easily distracted, and they can easily be pulled in other directions. However, when you have their attention (and heart-felt affection), they want to just be in the moment with you and can be very engaging and attentive.

Those are just a few examples, of course. I would love to hear your comments on how you feel you express love as a Red, Blue, White or Yellow!

Jeremy Daniel, VP Training – Color Code

Shared By:

Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer – Color Code

Identifying a Red Personality’s Needs

Each of us either knows a Red personality or is a Red personality. And while some of the readers out there may know the Red’s strengths and weaknesses, they may not understand their wants and needs. Today, we want to focus on the Red needs in hopes that you can understand them better and know how to treat their personality.

Reds Need to Look Good Technically

Reds need to be able to stand their own ground intellectually. When a Red is faced with a new project, they will do all the research necessary to become knowledgeable in the subject matter. They don’t go to meetings unprepared. Going on vacations with them will be a lot like being on a school field trip—full of factoids.

Reds Need to Be Right

If you are in a relationship with a Red, whether it be a partner, friend, co-worker, employee or employer, remember that Reds need to be right. You may think of them as know-it-alls, and many times you would be correct, but before calling them out on it, ask yourself if A. they ARE right, or B. is it really worth disagreeing given the debate that will surely follow? Pick your battle … and make sure it is one you can win.

Reds Need to Be Respected

This is very important to Reds, possibly more than being loved. If you don’t respect them, it is likely they won’t respect you, leaving a meaningful connection impossible. Without mutual respect, your opinion of them really doesn’t matter. They won’t waste time trying to garner your positive opinion because they simply don’t care.

Reds Need to Attain Approval From a Select Few

So…Reds need respect and we discussed how they react to those they don’t respect. Now let’s talk about those they do. If the Red in your life feels your respect, they will do whatever it takes to validate that respect and maintain your approval. Unlike Yellows, who need to receive approval from the masses, Reds are content to be selective. If you are one of chosen few, you will not be disappointed.

 

Reds may not always be easy to get along with, but it will be easier if you recognize these needs. They surely will appreciate it. For those who didn’t previously know the Red needs, how do you feel this will help you in the future?

 

—The Color Code Team

Shared by 

~Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer/Consultant 

Do you sometimes feel like life is against you?

Do you sometimes feel like life is against you?


That things are falling apart?

Like it seems that you get stuck in traffic more often than other people, and that the red lights are against you?

Have you noticed how stressful things often happen all at once?

You drop your phone and break it.

Now you can’t answer that call about that great job you’re going for.

And on the way home your car gets a flat – 
in the pouring rain – 
and you can’t call anyone for help! 

Murphys law says;

“Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.”

(Usually at the worst possible time!) 

Although you’re constantly resisting the process, believe when stressors pile up on top of one another and put you under pressure, this is the compassion of the universe giving you encouragement to change. 

Because humans are stubborn creatures, and to make change we need pressure.


Diamonds are made of carbon, a very common substance all around us.

Your body is 18% carbon.

So you are literally a potential diamond!

Do you know the recipe for a diamond? 

1. Take a lump of carbon 

2. Add pressure equal to 4,000 people standing on your foot 

3. Heat to 2,700 degrees

4. Bake for a thousand years!

Diamonds = carbon + pressure + heat + time. 

We all want diamonds, whether to wear or give to our lovers. 

But we don’t like pressure.

Yet that’s exactly what we need.

Pressure to rub smooth the sharp edges in our personality.

Pressure to give us a reason to let go of stuff we’ve been holding on to for too long.

Pressure melts us from ice to water, so we can flow with the river of life.

How to Date a Blue

Being in a romantic relationship with a Blue can’t be easy. I should know, I am one. However, my Yellow husband does a great job at handling all my emotions and he also did a great job at winning my heart. Today, I think it’d be fun to offer some advice to those who are trying to date a Blue. Take out your notebooks and get writing! 😉

Be romantic

I’m married to an awesome guy who is great at the whole romance thing. When we first started dating, I was in a situation that made me hesitant to get too serious with him, but he was determined and proved himself worthy time and time again. Our first Valentine’s Day together, he surprised me at work with flowers and proceeded to drive me to a small airport, where he took me on a helicopter ride. Then he took me bowling, to a nice restaurant, let me pick out a movie and we finished off the night star gazing in his dad’s truck. Did I mention we got married? 😉

Be thoughtful

One of the natural strengths of the Blue personality is being thoughtful. As a Blue, I really appreciate when people are thoughtful toward me. When my husband and I first started dating, I was starting my first internship for a news organization. My first day I was understandably nervous, but I got a text at an early hour from my husband (then-boyfriend) wishing me good luck. I don’t think he even had to be up that early, but he wanted to send me well wishes. It meant so much to me and earned him a bunch of points.

Be endlessly patient

Blues definitely have their limitations, and I am no exception. I’m worry-prone, a perfectionist, jealous, moody, etc. Not long into our relationship, my husband got to see some of the not-so-great qualities I possess. However, he was so incredibly patient with me. He focused on the good things about me. He listened to me, empathized with me and just loved me.

 If you love or are falling for a Blue, please take this advice to heart. I think they will love it. Blues, what do you think about this advice? 

Megan Christensen, Digital Content Manager ~ Color Code

 

Shared by Deborah Bryson ~

Certified Color Code Trainer 

ENHANCE

ENHANCE something very powerful ~ Your Confidence, Resilience, Core Motives, and Personality. 

Confidence ~ “con” means “with,” and “fid” means “faith.” So a confident person is one who walks in faith.

Resilience ~ your “bounce back” ability

Motive ~ your “secret sauce”

Personality ~ your emotional qualities and ways of behaving that make you different from others.

Get more connected with who you truly are.

* Identify your primary personality color

* Read others easily and accurately

* Discover what your primary motivators are

* Identify and develop your natural strengths and transform your weaknesses

* Improve your relationships with yourself and others

* Enhance your business performance

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Sincerely,
Deborah Bryson 

Three Ideas to Help Whites Become More Motivated

White Personalities-You may or may not know that one of your natural limitations is being unmotivated.  The good news is this isn’t something that can’t be overcome when properly addressed. For example, Steve Jobs of Apple Computers was a White Personality and we can all probably agree that he was motivated. However, if you think you could possibly use a little more motivation in your life, read on and give the following a try!

1. Make a to-do list

This may seem obvious but it’s amazing what results you can achieve with a to-do list if you are CONSISTENT and COMMITTED. Pick a specific time every day to make your to-do list. You can include as many or as few items as you like but the key is to develop a habit here so don’t overwhelm yourself at first with too much. Start off easy and build from there. Remember, the HABIT itself will become more valuable than what is on the list in the beginning. You could include things like exercising, meal planning, paying bills, spending time getting better at a hobby and cleaning out your car. Again, just make sure that whatever you put on there you can be consistent and committed to. Even if it’s literally doing 1 push up each morning, that’s fine. Just start with easy and go from there. If you do this, you won’t burn out as easily and will build the HABIT that will fuel the fire of motivation in other areas later on.

2. Do something you dread bi-monthly

Many of us tend to procrastinate and put off things we just don’t want to do but White Personalties innately deal with this limitation a little more than the others.

The reason we suggest you do something you dread on a bi-monthly basis is simple: it pushes you but in a manageable way. You can rest comfortably knowing things will get done but not feel the pressure or guilt associated with putting them off or never doing them.

3. Do something enjoyable while you do something productive

We are all blessed to live in a day and age where we can have practically endless entertainment and/or learning options at the touch of a button via the Internet. If you haven’t found a favorite podcast, sweet jams, or discovered Duolingo language learning yet then may we humbly suggest you get on that. 🙂 Why? Again, we are focusing on motivation and if you know you have something to look forward to in combination with the task you NEED to do, you will be more likely to do it. Keep experimenting until you find your “reward” to make the tasks at hand more palatable.

Whites, we truly hope these tips will help you develop habits to find additional motivation you might be missing to milk the most out of your life because we know that the world benefits greatly every time a “Wise White” steps up to the plate.

Try these three suggestions above and let us know if they work for you. And, if you’ve found other ways to tackle this natural limitation, please share those in the comments below so others can benefit from what you’ve learned about the personality trait you share. We are cheering for you. And if you become the next Steve Jobs, don’t forget about us 😉 

—The Color Code Team

Shared

Deborah Bryson, Certified Color Code Trainer 

Electronic Messages—Reading Between the Lines

“Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.” 

-Carol Burnett

We live in an age where a large percentage of our communications are done via email and texts. It is convenient, and for some, a great time saver.

The problem is, how are your messages interpreted?

Without body language to provide insight into the delivery, a misinterpreted written communication might leave the recipient feeling slighted, criticized or belittled. An unanswered email or text might make a person feel that they are being ignored, or worse, that the recipient is angry over the content of the message. All of this can cause stress and no little resentment … to the detriment of a positive and productive relationship.

As students of the Color Code, we know that all personalities are different. Each driving core motive has needs. We are all motivated differently and conversely, we motivate differently. When receiving electronic missives, it is important for us to know the difference—and react accordingly.

Reds’ emails and texts are often interpreted as curt, unfeeling, and, let’s face it, critical. When a Red sends an email or text it is normally a “just the facts, ma’am” missive. They don’t do smiley faces, emoticons or LOLs. Rarely will they ask personal questions or offer any insight into their own feelings. A Red will not respond to a text or email that doesn’t require a specific response. Don’t expect an email that simply says, “Thanks” or “Got it.”

When you can’t see a Red’s face in the delivery, the sarcasm they are famous for just seems downright mean. It might interest you to know that Reds will seem confounded if you express offense at the emails they send, because (in most cases) offense was not their intention.

When sending a Red a text or an email—especially in a business setting—keep to the facts (preferably in bullet form). If responding to a Red’s bulleted email, try putting your answers directly below the bullet points he or she sent you. That way, you’ll know you’ve answered all questions or requests succinctly rather than in a rambling response. If a Red asks for a confirmation that you received the email, send one, but don’t otherwise waste his or her time with a “thanks” response.

Blues are quite different from Reds in electronic communication. Unlike Reds, “less is more” does not apply. Blues are thorough and detail-conscious. You will likely receive not only an answer, but the thought process involved in coming up with the answer. They might start off with a personal note before getting to the meat of the missive—but meat there will be.

In writing, a Blue may come off as a bit sanctimonious, and the recipient may feel as if they are being judged, or worse, not given credit. Blues need to feel appreciated and might fail to see their self-righteous tone as offensive—so don’t take offense.

When sending a Blue an email, it is important to fulfill their need for detailed information. Be sure your message includes the what, where, when and how, or you will be peppered with more emails asking about the missing information. Your communications should be well-written and respectful.

Whites, like Reds, are logical and to the point. Unlike Reds, they are more thoughtful in their communications. While not motivated by emotion, they will go to great lengths to be kind and not create conflict. You may need to read between the lines to get the real message. Whites are more inclined to communicate via email or texting rather than face-to-face interaction.

Some Whites procrastinate and will put off answering your email right away. In fact, some of them should have the old adage, “If you ignore it, it will go away” on a needlepoint sampler gracing their office wall. Gentle reminders will get them going again.

When sending an email to a White, be kind, objective and present all arguments. Whites have a great skill of seeing all sides and forming a logical conclusion. Unless you have already won a White’s trust, don’t get personal or jokey in the text.

Yellows are probably the most dynamic of the colors when it comes to email. Count on them to send you the latest joke one minute and an insightful and persuasive communication the next. A Yellow is most likely to use emoticons and exclamation points. Even in the most serious of emails, they will make an appearance.

Yellows may not return your email in a timely manner—or at all. This is not a personal slight, but an indication that they have moved on to other things they deem more important or interesting. A reminder that you are awaiting a reply should bring you back to the top of the list.

When sending an email to a Yellow, be specific about what you want and possibly more important, when you want it. Be upbeat, positive, but firm and always emphasize that you appreciate their contribution.

Before you jump to conclusions while reading messages, remember we all have different methods of communication. Without a smile, a wink, or even a scowl, we don’t have the benefit of facial expressions or body language to help us interpret the emotion behind a message. The best thing to do, for the receiver and the sender, is to take into account the possibility that we all have different methods of sending and receiving messages, both literally and emotionally. Think it through before you let a simple misunderstanding ruin an otherwise healthy relationship.

The Color Code

Teresa Glenn 

Shared by Deborah Bryson 

Certified Color Code Trainer 

Advice for Meeting a Blue’s Needs

Who doesn’t want their needs to be met? Each personality color comes with its own set of needs, but many people are likely not meeting these needs due to not being aware of what they are. If each of us knew the needs that came with each personality color, we would surely be better equipped to care for our loved ones. Today, we are going to address the needs of the Blue personality and help those who know and love Blues understand how they can meet their needs so the Blues will feel happier and more loved.

Blues need to be good morally

If you have a Blue friend who seems like a goody two-shoes, and it annoys you, this will be a good need for you to recognize. Blues aren’t trying to bug you. It’s just that they were born with this innate need to be good morally. They may not be the friend who wants to wedding crash with you or who lies to get you out of trouble. But instead of giving them a hard time, help them feel comfortable approaching you with their hesitations to do something they don’t feel OK with. Show them admiration for holding fast to their convictions instead of making them feel like a bad friend.

Blues need to be understood

Blues have a lot of emotions and they like to talk them out. You may not understand all their emotions all the time, but knowing they need to be understood can hopefully help you be a better listener for your Blue friends. Sometimes, they may just need some validation for feeling the things they’re feeling. Other times, they may need you to relate to them and share a personal experience from your own life.

Blues need to be appreciated

Blues are great at serving others, but they need to be appreciated when they do. Even if your Blue loved ones are constantly serving you to the point you get used to it, don’t forget to acknowledge their service.

Blues need to be accepted

Because Blues WANT to reveal their insecurities, it’s likely that your Blue loved ones will be vulnerable in front of you. It’s your job to love and accept them and help them feel loved. Relationships mean so much to them, and it would help them feel loved if they felt those they care about so much accepted them into their lives and didn’t show signs of neglecting their friendship.

If you can master fulfilling the needs of your Blue friends, they will be happy campers indeed. For the Blues who are reading this article, are your friends good at meeting your needs? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

—The Color Code Team

Shared by:

Deborah Bryson 

Certified Color Code Trainer