Getting Things Done

“Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem,” says psychologist……..

People don’t procrastinate because they are lazy, says Dr. Piers Steel, author of The Procrastination Equation: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done. “It’s self-harm,” he told The New York Times.

Dr. Fuschia Sirois, professor of psychology at the University of Sheffield, agrees. “This is why we say that procrastination is essentially irrational,” she told the Times“It doesn’t make sense to do something you know is going to have negative consequences… People engage in this irrational cycle of chronic procrastination because of an inability to manage negative moods around a task.”

Procrastination isn’t a unique character flaw or a mysterious curse on your ability to manage time, but a way of coping with challenging emotions and negative moods induced by certain tasks — boredom, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, self-doubt and beyond.

In fact, there’s an entire body of research dedicated to the ruminative, self-blaming thoughts many of us tend to have in the wake of procrastination, which are known as “procrastinatory cognitions.” The thoughts we have about procrastination typically exacerbate our distress and stress, which contribute to further procrastination, Dr. Sirois said.

But the momentary relief we feel when procrastinating is actually what makes the cycle especially vicious. In the immediate present, putting off a task provides relief — “you’ve been rewarded for procrastinating,” Dr. Sirois said. And we know from basic behaviorism that when we’re rewarded for something, we tend to do it again. This is precisely why procrastination tends not to be a one-off behavior, but a cycle, one that easily becomes a chronic habit.

Mark Frauenfelder

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My Energetic Goddess

Aries – Brigid, Celtic Goddess of Fire

Brigid, the Goddess of fire and light, is perfect for the fiery Aries. She has healing and transformative powers that are comparable to alchemy or turning one thing into another. Therefore, her fire is not destructive, but rather transmuting. You can call upon her for strength, guidance for balancing the fire and peace, and inspiration on using your powers for good.

I can coach and support you with honest & candid conversation; straight talk, no chaser with a funny, kind of scary sense of humor. I will advise you to put on your “big girl” pants, and I’ll be your partner and team avenger!

Sincerely,

Deborah

How Our Bodies Store Repressed Emotions

Do we really know what’s happening in our minds? Do we know ourselves? Can we control what happens inside us so that it doesn’t negatively affect those around us? Do we really know what we feel and how we feel it in each moment? Understanding our repressed emotions can be the most powerful weapon to help us understand our behavior.

Since the late 20th century, the study of neuroscience has been focusing on the relationship between the brain and our emotions. How we feel has taken on the importance it always deserved. Emotions are no longer simple automatic reactions. They’ve begun to have scientific relevance.

A new idea also emerged: that it’s necessary to teach people how to identify, understand, and manage their emotions in order to prevent repressed emotions from guiding their behavior.

“Each repressed emotion will stealthily leave its imprint on our behavior through emotional patterns that decide for us.”

-Elsa Punset-

That’s why we currently place so much importance on understanding our repressed emotions. This way, we’ll get to know ourselves and identify what happens inside us. It’ll also allow us to manage our emotions and act in favor of how we feel.

Understanding our repressed emotions helps us understand our identity

To know what happens inside you is to know yourself. Repressed emotions are those that we don’t want to listen to or try to ignore. However, they’re the ones that end up directing our behaviors and thoughts.

What you deny submits to you. Everything that happens to us, properly understood, leads us to ourselves.”

-Carl Jung-

Understanding our emotions gives us the opportunity to know why we act in one way or another. Everyone filters situations according to their feelings, which is why everyone acts in different ways. Our experiences lead us to see the world in a special and unique way. Each situation generates different emotions inside us. That’s why knowing ourselves leads us to understand how we act.

When we suppress emotions like anger, let ourselves get carried away by fear, don’t allow ourselves to be sad, or feel we don’t have control over our pain, we give way to an independent functioning of un-managed emotions. This is when emotions speak for themselves through our actions.

Stanford University conducted a study on emotions. It revealed that individuals with a tendency to repress their feelings reacted with a much greater physiological activation in trigger situations than others who, for example, showed anxiety or anger.

For this reason, it’s also normal for those individuals who don’t express their feelings or who have much more difficulty doing so to have more somatic problems such as muscular tension, headaches, skin reactions, or complicated illnesses. Their emotions find ways to be channeled in less functional ways.

How Our Bodies Store Repressed Emotions

Do we really know what’s happening in our minds? Do we know ourselves? Can we control what happens inside us so that it doesn’t negatively affect those around us? Do we really know what we feel and how we feel it in each moment? Understanding our repressed emotions can be the most powerful weapon to help us understand our behavior.

Since the late 20th century, the study of neuroscience has been focusing on the relationship between the brain and our emotions. How we feel has taken on the importance it always deserved. Emotions are no longer simple automatic reactions. They’ve begun to have scientific relevance.

A new idea also emerged: that it’s necessary to teach people how to identify, understand, and manage their emotions in order to prevent repressed emotions from guiding their behavior.

“Each repressed emotion will stealthily leave its imprint on our behavior through emotional patterns that decide for us.”

-Elsa Punset-

That’s why we currently place so much importance on understanding our repressed emotions. This way, we’ll get to know ourselves and identify what happens inside us. It’ll also allow us to manage our emotions and act in favor of how we feel.

Understanding our repressed emotions helps us understand our identity

To know what happens inside you is to know yourself. Repressed emotions are those that we don’t want to listen to or try to ignore. However, they’re the ones that end up directing our behaviors and thoughts.

“What you deny submits to you. Everything that happens to us, properly understood, leads us to ourselves.”

-Carl Jung-

Understanding our emotions gives us the opportunity to know why we act in one way or another. Everyone filters situations according to their feelings, which is why everyone acts in different ways. Our experiences lead us to see the world in a special and unique way. Each situation generates different emotions inside us. That’s why knowing ourselves leads us to understand how we act.

When we know what we feel, we can shape our emotions and try to digest them. When we listen to ourselves, we can understand and manage our behavior in order to act in an integrated and understandable way. Only when we give our repressed emotions a voice can we begin to understand our true identity.

Reference

Exploring Your Mind

Wellness

Definition of Wellness

Wellness is an active process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a healthy and fulfilling life. Wellness is more than being free from illness, it is a dynamic process of change and growth.

“…a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
– The World Health Organization

“a conscious, self-directed and evolving process of achieving full potential.”
– The National Wellness Institute

Why Wellness Matters

Maintaining an optimal level of wellness is absolutely crucial to live a higher quality life. Wellness matters. Wellness matters because everything we do and every emotion we feel relates to our well-being. In turn, our well-being directly affects our actions and emotions. It’s an ongoing circle. Therefore, it is important for everyone to achieve optimal wellness in order to subdue stress, reduce the risk of illness and ensure positive interactions.

#wellness #debstrategy

Who Am I and What Do I Do? This Is a Test!

Social Media? Facebook; Groups, Pages, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn ~ the list goes on…….

Where should I show up? Who is attracted to Me? Where is my Tribe? What Do You Want? Need?

In my chase for answers to these questions and others ~ I’m evolving!

I’m demonstrating to you ~ that no matter what ~ low visibility, low interaction, scrolling past the actual content of a post. Lack of interest in the information being shared. Mimimal curiosity and moving on because the message didn’t resonate with you.

I have to remain resilient, persevere, and be confident that my Tribe is out there and attraction will occur.

If you’re part of my tribe, you will feel supported, understood, and loved. You will feel empowered and optimistic on your outlook on life, you will feel “I can do this”; you will also feel “I’m not alone in this” You will learn a great deal from my own experiences: the good, the bad and the downright ugly. You will see that you can overcome anything because I have!

Here is what I discovered about My Purpose and I fully embrace it!

My Purpose is…………….

Elusive and will slowly emerge as I put one foot in front of the other, following where my heart, talents and life seem to be leading me.

Evolving as I go through this journey, gaining wisdom about myself and receiving delicious, surprising clues from life; my sense of purpose evolves and changes.

Emerges from Experience as I set out on the course that feels and seems right to me, and I’m open to learning from it and adjusting.

Exactly perfectly timed. If I have a dream and my heart still beats with it, even though nothing seems to be happening, I’ll keep at it and not let go. I may feel it right to step away for a while and come back when it calls me again or circumstances shift.

Eminently qualified; I’ll just go for whatever calls me, not hesitating to go for something even if I don’t have all my ducks or qualifications lined up in a row.

Enjoyable Adventure. I’m not going to get too stressed about this or put too much pressure on myself about clarifying my purpose. My purpose might indeed be something grand and complicated, or it may be as simple as dispensing love and kindness wherever I go. I’m present in the moment, and delighted in watching it all unfold.

Be Yourself First…Then Adapt

A few weeks ago, a student of the Color Code asked Jeremy Daniel, Vice President of Training for Color Code, a great question. She said, “I’m loving learning about how to adapt to work more effectively with each of the four Color Code styles, but I’m finding it difficult ~ constantly trying to act like a Red for one co-worker and then switch into Yellow mode for somebody else. Does it get easier to present as each of the colors over time???” While he applauded her commitment to applying what she’d been learning, Jeremy could tell she was seriously stressed over the idea of having to know everybody’s Color Code all the time and constantly trying to switch her style conversation by conversation. As the realization of what she was attempting to do sunk in, He could see that she was simply overdoing things.

Jeremy shares with you the advice that he gave her in that moment. It was this: “Be yourself first. Then adapt, if necessary.” At the end of the day, it’s important to remember to be who you are. Remember to come from a place of authenticity, and you will be fine most of the time. People appreciate the fact that you are a real, unique, and completely valid human being. You have your little quirks, but so what? We all do! That’s one of the things that make others want to connect with us. Then, there are those times, or those certain relationships, where little adjustments need to be made to create improvements. Maybe your boss really is a hard-charging Red, and you know that you need to stick to the “Red playbook” to maintain his/her respect. Guess what? You can still be a Blue, White, or Yellow, and “speak” Red. Be yourself, but get to the point, know your facts, execute competently, and things will be fine. No major adjustment necessary! You don’t have to change your entire persona to try to fit in. In fact, that probably won’t work. It might feel forced or perhaps scripted. I hope that makes sense. As much as I love, preach, and practice the Color Code, I would also remind you to not lose the wonderful person you are along the way. Rather, just be yourself, understand where people are coming from, and use this wonderful tool to make adjustments as you need to. Here’s to your continued success!

Jeremy leads our Trainer Certification Program and has been teaching the Color Code and delivering motive-based applications to clients internationally since 1998.

Sincerely,

Deborah Bryson, Color Code Trainer

How a Yellow Should Treat a Blue

Yellows and Blues are so opposite, it’s kind of comical. Yellows are carefree while Blues are professional worriers. Yellows are uncommitted and Blues are very committed. Yellows are self-centered and Blues are compassionate. These two colors are quite the opposite pair! For you Yellows out there who are married to or good friends with a Blue, it’s probably hard for you to understand them sometimes. If you don’t quite always know how to handle them, here are a few things you can do to treat your Blue loved ones right and help them stay sane.

1. Help them see their worries in perspective

Worrying is tough for poor Blues, even though they’re so good at it. Don’t ignore their worries and don’t act like they don’t matter, either. Instead, help them see their worries in perspective by listening to why the Blue is worried and pointing out why they don’t have a reason to be. For example, if a Blue is worried they aren’t a good enough parent, ask them why they think that. If their answer has more to do with something they’re doing or not doing and not anything to do with their child’s behavior, help them see that. Point out evidence as to why they’re doing a great job and how much their kid loves them.

2. Combat their perfectionism with FUN

Blues are perfectionists, which can be a source of stress for them. As they go about their lives trying to be perfect in their behavior, relationships, work, various projects and to-dos, their mental health may suffer. Try to help break them of this perfectionism by showing them how they don’t have to be perfect and it can be fun. For example, if you’re married to a Blue, chances are they really like a clean house. But spending the weekend cleaning isn’t fun and may take way too much of their time as they try to perfectly polish the baseboards. To help them ease out of some of their perfectionism, take a weekend and camp out in the living room. Build a fort, buy some snacks, sleep on the couch cushions on the floor. Even though the mess may make them a little crazy, show them it’s OK to have fun and disregard responsibility for a weekend and that the mess can still get cleaned up later and it’ll all be OK.

3. Let Your Contagious Attitude Rub Off

Blues are very emotional and with their natural limitations of being overly sensitive and moody, life’s not always a happy dance for them. But Yellows’ natural gifts of being enthusiastic and optimistic are such a breathe of fresh air to be around. Blues need you and your happy nature to help them see the bright side of life. Watch Jimmy Fallon with them, take them out to an amusement park or just do something simple and fun together like go on a picnic and help them get out of their head. It’ll be good for them! Yellows, you need Blues and Blues need you. Your strengths and gifts are such a blessing to them, please don’t underestimate that. Blues, what do you appreciate about the Yellow personality? Tell us in our comments below this post!

—The Color Code Team

Deborah Bryson, Certified Color Code Trainer

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Helping Reds Not Regret Their Words

1. Think About Other People’s Feelings First. One commenter mentioned the hardest part about being a Red is, “trying not to hurt people’s feelings with my direct opinions all the time – keeping my mouth shut.” We think she’s awesome for recognizing people’s feelings and thought it might be helpful for Reds to try to think more about their friends feelings rather than their need to voice their opinion if it’s one that may cause bad blood. Let’s say your friend dyes their hair blonde, and it looks pretty terrible. They may be either A. Already beating themselves up about it and hoping other people don’t think it looks as bad as they do or B. They like their hair and could be pretty offended if you said anything to the contrary. Even if you think they made a mistake, take a second to think about the impact of your words before you say anything. It basically boils down to the famous “Bambi” quote, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

2. Take Five and Educate Someone Else. Let’s say you’re at work and your boss says something they heard over the weekend that you know is wrong but you also know it would be disrespectful to argue with them. Instead of arguing with them, take a little break when you get the chance, maybe at lunch, and text your spouse or a friend the actual fact. Maybe your boss will never know a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable, but telling someone else this fact may be an outlet for you to feel like you could say something in a context that was more appropriate.

3. Give Yourself a Limit Reds, it’s not like we want you to be silent participants in life. We need you. We think you’re awesome. If you know you’re right and someone else is suffering from wrong information and they NEED to be educated with the facts, speak up! Alternatively, everyone makes mistakes and you probably will have those days when you speak too hastily and offend someone or you annoy someone with your constant argument winning. If you happen to do this, make sure you set a limit for yourself on how much you can be outspoken in one day. If you’re having a rough morning and fail to zip your lips in situations that called for it more than 3 times, try to take yourself out of a situation where you might do it again if possible. Reds, we hope our suggestions help you find it a little easier to keep quiet in the right situations. We are all about helping each other become better–or more “charactered” as we like to call it. Are there any Reds out there who have additional advice? Let us know by commenting under this post.

–The Color Code Team

Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer ~ shares

To Develop More Compassion Like a Blue…

Try on their shoes… …metaphorically speaking that is. Let us explain. If you’ve been reading our blog or are a fan of the Color Code you probably already know that the “antidote” to any personality limitation you may have will always be found in a strength of one of the other personality types. That’s why we stress the importance of knowing as much as possible about all the colors. So with that in mind, today might we offer a small tip on how to tap into the compassion that comes so naturally to our Blue friends? It’s so simple you’re probably going to dismiss it, but we encourage you to take a moment this week to at least consider how you could add a little more compassion into your life. What is this tip you’ll likely dismiss? It’s taking a moment to consider how someone else’s personality would react in a negative situation BEFORE you react according to the way your personality may see things. By doing this one little thing, you’ll be tapping into the strength of compassion that Blues already do so well. For example, while a Yellow might quickly get over being laid off from a job and optimistically think they’ll find another one in a hurry, a Red may feel it’s a personal dig to how they performed at the job and feel angry about getting let go. In this situation, a Yellow who is struggling to feel compassion for a Red might consider how the Red is feeling so they can understand their reaction better and be more compassionate toward them.

That’s just a simple example but the point is this: considering other people’s perspectives and reacting from that point of view can hopefully help you understand their reaction to challenges and in turn help you feel more compassion toward their struggles. This is a win/win because the more compassion and understanding in the world, the better off we all are. So what do you say? Are you willing to try on some shoes this week? We certainly hope so. 🙂 And Blues, what other ideas do you think people can do to develop more compassion?

Leave your answer in our comments.

—The Color Code Team

~ Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer ~ shares