Be Yourself First…Then Adapt

A few weeks ago, a student of the Color Code asked Jeremy Daniel, Vice President of Training for Color Code, a great question. She said, “I’m loving learning about how to adapt to work more effectively with each of the four Color Code styles, but I’m finding it difficult ~ constantly trying to act like a Red for one co-worker and then switch into Yellow mode for somebody else. Does it get easier to present as each of the colors over time???” While he applauded her commitment to applying what she’d been learning, Jeremy could tell she was seriously stressed over the idea of having to know everybody’s Color Code all the time and constantly trying to switch her style conversation by conversation. As the realization of what she was attempting to do sunk in, He could see that she was simply overdoing things.

Jeremy shares with you the advice that he gave her in that moment. It was this: “Be yourself first. Then adapt, if necessary.” At the end of the day, it’s important to remember to be who you are. Remember to come from a place of authenticity, and you will be fine most of the time. People appreciate the fact that you are a real, unique, and completely valid human being. You have your little quirks, but so what? We all do! That’s one of the things that make others want to connect with us. Then, there are those times, or those certain relationships, where little adjustments need to be made to create improvements. Maybe your boss really is a hard-charging Red, and you know that you need to stick to the “Red playbook” to maintain his/her respect. Guess what? You can still be a Blue, White, or Yellow, and “speak” Red. Be yourself, but get to the point, know your facts, execute competently, and things will be fine. No major adjustment necessary! You don’t have to change your entire persona to try to fit in. In fact, that probably won’t work. It might feel forced or perhaps scripted. I hope that makes sense. As much as I love, preach, and practice the Color Code, I would also remind you to not lose the wonderful person you are along the way. Rather, just be yourself, understand where people are coming from, and use this wonderful tool to make adjustments as you need to. Here’s to your continued success!

Jeremy leads our Trainer Certification Program and has been teaching the Color Code and delivering motive-based applications to clients internationally since 1998.

Sincerely,

Deborah Bryson, Color Code Trainer

How a Yellow Should Treat a Blue

Yellows and Blues are so opposite, it’s kind of comical. Yellows are carefree while Blues are professional worriers. Yellows are uncommitted and Blues are very committed. Yellows are self-centered and Blues are compassionate. These two colors are quite the opposite pair! For you Yellows out there who are married to or good friends with a Blue, it’s probably hard for you to understand them sometimes. If you don’t quite always know how to handle them, here are a few things you can do to treat your Blue loved ones right and help them stay sane.

1. Help them see their worries in perspective

Worrying is tough for poor Blues, even though they’re so good at it. Don’t ignore their worries and don’t act like they don’t matter, either. Instead, help them see their worries in perspective by listening to why the Blue is worried and pointing out why they don’t have a reason to be. For example, if a Blue is worried they aren’t a good enough parent, ask them why they think that. If their answer has more to do with something they’re doing or not doing and not anything to do with their child’s behavior, help them see that. Point out evidence as to why they’re doing a great job and how much their kid loves them.

2. Combat their perfectionism with FUN

Blues are perfectionists, which can be a source of stress for them. As they go about their lives trying to be perfect in their behavior, relationships, work, various projects and to-dos, their mental health may suffer. Try to help break them of this perfectionism by showing them how they don’t have to be perfect and it can be fun. For example, if you’re married to a Blue, chances are they really like a clean house. But spending the weekend cleaning isn’t fun and may take way too much of their time as they try to perfectly polish the baseboards. To help them ease out of some of their perfectionism, take a weekend and camp out in the living room. Build a fort, buy some snacks, sleep on the couch cushions on the floor. Even though the mess may make them a little crazy, show them it’s OK to have fun and disregard responsibility for a weekend and that the mess can still get cleaned up later and it’ll all be OK.

3. Let Your Contagious Attitude Rub Off

Blues are very emotional and with their natural limitations of being overly sensitive and moody, life’s not always a happy dance for them. But Yellows’ natural gifts of being enthusiastic and optimistic are such a breathe of fresh air to be around. Blues need you and your happy nature to help them see the bright side of life. Watch Jimmy Fallon with them, take them out to an amusement park or just do something simple and fun together like go on a picnic and help them get out of their head. It’ll be good for them! Yellows, you need Blues and Blues need you. Your strengths and gifts are such a blessing to them, please don’t underestimate that. Blues, what do you appreciate about the Yellow personality? Tell us in our comments below this post!

—The Color Code Team

Deborah Bryson, Certified Color Code Trainer

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Helping Reds Not Regret Their Words

1. Think About Other People’s Feelings First. One commenter mentioned the hardest part about being a Red is, “trying not to hurt people’s feelings with my direct opinions all the time – keeping my mouth shut.” We think she’s awesome for recognizing people’s feelings and thought it might be helpful for Reds to try to think more about their friends feelings rather than their need to voice their opinion if it’s one that may cause bad blood. Let’s say your friend dyes their hair blonde, and it looks pretty terrible. They may be either A. Already beating themselves up about it and hoping other people don’t think it looks as bad as they do or B. They like their hair and could be pretty offended if you said anything to the contrary. Even if you think they made a mistake, take a second to think about the impact of your words before you say anything. It basically boils down to the famous “Bambi” quote, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

2. Take Five and Educate Someone Else. Let’s say you’re at work and your boss says something they heard over the weekend that you know is wrong but you also know it would be disrespectful to argue with them. Instead of arguing with them, take a little break when you get the chance, maybe at lunch, and text your spouse or a friend the actual fact. Maybe your boss will never know a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable, but telling someone else this fact may be an outlet for you to feel like you could say something in a context that was more appropriate.

3. Give Yourself a Limit Reds, it’s not like we want you to be silent participants in life. We need you. We think you’re awesome. If you know you’re right and someone else is suffering from wrong information and they NEED to be educated with the facts, speak up! Alternatively, everyone makes mistakes and you probably will have those days when you speak too hastily and offend someone or you annoy someone with your constant argument winning. If you happen to do this, make sure you set a limit for yourself on how much you can be outspoken in one day. If you’re having a rough morning and fail to zip your lips in situations that called for it more than 3 times, try to take yourself out of a situation where you might do it again if possible. Reds, we hope our suggestions help you find it a little easier to keep quiet in the right situations. We are all about helping each other become better–or more “charactered” as we like to call it. Are there any Reds out there who have additional advice? Let us know by commenting under this post.

–The Color Code Team

Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer ~ shares

To Develop More Compassion Like a Blue…

Try on their shoes… …metaphorically speaking that is. Let us explain. If you’ve been reading our blog or are a fan of the Color Code you probably already know that the “antidote” to any personality limitation you may have will always be found in a strength of one of the other personality types. That’s why we stress the importance of knowing as much as possible about all the colors. So with that in mind, today might we offer a small tip on how to tap into the compassion that comes so naturally to our Blue friends? It’s so simple you’re probably going to dismiss it, but we encourage you to take a moment this week to at least consider how you could add a little more compassion into your life. What is this tip you’ll likely dismiss? It’s taking a moment to consider how someone else’s personality would react in a negative situation BEFORE you react according to the way your personality may see things. By doing this one little thing, you’ll be tapping into the strength of compassion that Blues already do so well. For example, while a Yellow might quickly get over being laid off from a job and optimistically think they’ll find another one in a hurry, a Red may feel it’s a personal dig to how they performed at the job and feel angry about getting let go. In this situation, a Yellow who is struggling to feel compassion for a Red might consider how the Red is feeling so they can understand their reaction better and be more compassionate toward them.

That’s just a simple example but the point is this: considering other people’s perspectives and reacting from that point of view can hopefully help you understand their reaction to challenges and in turn help you feel more compassion toward their struggles. This is a win/win because the more compassion and understanding in the world, the better off we all are. So what do you say? Are you willing to try on some shoes this week? We certainly hope so. 🙂 And Blues, what other ideas do you think people can do to develop more compassion?

Leave your answer in our comments.

—The Color Code Team

~ Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer ~ shares

MY CORE VALUES

My Core Values:

a) Confident Humility

b) Resilient Honesty

c) Real Authenticity

d) Cutting to the Core

Confident Humility:

A reflection of neither weakness nor insecurity. Instead, implying a respectful appreciation of your strengths; lacking personal pretension and a relaxed sense of confidence that doesn’t require external recognition.

Resilient Honesty:

At the heart of resilienceis a belief in oneself—yet also a belief in something larger than oneself. Resilient people do not let adversity define them. They find resilience by moving towards a goal beyond themselves, transcending pain and grief by perceiving bad times as a temporary state of affairs… It’s possible to strengthen your inner self and your belief in yourself, to define yourself as capable and competent. It’s possible to fortify your psyche. It’s possible to develop a sense of mastery.

Real Authenticity:

true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character is sincere and authentic with no pretensions

Cutting to the Core:

Be pro-active about looking honestly at SELF and the patterns at work in LIFE.

3 Essential Steps for Healthy Personal Change

Have you ever seen this kind of story play out either in your own life or in somebody else’s?

Let’s say there’s a woman named Nicole who is unhappy with life. She just really doesn’t feel very successful, so she vows to change. She ends up taking massive action and focusing like she never has before. Things start to change for Nicole, and she starts stacking up victories. Her persistence eventually leads her to achieve great financial success!

…But she’s still not happy, and she can’t figure out what went wrong.

Do you know someone like Nicole?

My guess is that you’ve probably seen something like that played out before. Of course, the scenario could be different. It doesn’t have to be about money. It could be about getting into a relationship, or losing weight, or moving to a new location, or having a child, or changing careers, or any number of other things.

It’s not that any of those goals won’t bring happiness or fulfillment either. They absolutely can! Change can be wonderful — especially if you pursue it in a healthy way and set yourself up for success.

Here are my three tips for doing just that:

  1. Get Yourself.
  2. Value Yourself.
  3. Get Over Yourself.

I’ll explain. 😉

1. Get Yourself.

This one should be no secret and is perhaps the most obvious place to start. If you don’t yet understand the power of Self-Awareness, it’s probably time to start…

I mean, Socrates is the one who coined the phrase, “know thyself”, and the guy’s been dead for over 2,400 years!

It makes sense that you truly have to understand who you are and what makes you “tick” before starting on your journey to create change.

Taking the Color Code assessment is a great way to begin this process of self-discovery, as we help you determine the type of Driving Core Motive that powers your personality and affects your emotional needs and wants.

But let’s move on to the next step…

2. Value Yourself.

Here’s where the wheels come off for a lot of people. They assume that by creating the change they want by adopting new habits, etc., they will be led to happiness.

This is not always true.

It CAN be, but you have to start from a healthy place where you value yourself first. Too often when it comes to change, people are trying to create it because they have a deeply-rooted belief that they are not good enough.

What I mean is that somebody, somewhere, or perhaps society/popular culture, convinced them that they are not valuable just as they are — that somehow, they are fundamentally flawed. We can even convince ourselves of this.

Sometimes this way of thinking happens when we constantly compare ourselves to others. I’m a Yellow, so it might be easy for me to look at a Red who is completely focused on their career and wish I could be that way. Then I might look at a Blue who is naturally organized and feel bad about myself for not being so as well. Then I begin to envy somebody with a White personality because of how patient they are.

Every time we compare ourselves to others in a way that results in negative self-talk, we chip away at our own feelings of self-worth.

Comparisons are dangerous, because we forget that just because somebody has different talents than ours, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own special abilities as well — and that they are not just as remarkable!

(Please Note: Comparisons are equally dangerous if they make us feel superior to others because they can’t do certain things that we can do.)

If we first value who we are, then we embark on the change process because we want to add to what is already good, then we know that the change can and usually will lead to the increase in happiness that we are seeking.

3. Get Over Yourself.

The cartoonist Walt Kelly is famous for writing, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

It’s true, isn’t it? We have a knack for getting in our own way. Sometimes our very strengths taken too far create limitations. Take Blues for example. Once, when talking about Blue strengths and limitations, I asked a group what the difference was between being detail conscious (a Blue strength) and being a perfectionist (a Blue limitation).

In a quick-witted reply, one of the participants quipped, “About five hours!”

So we have to take inventory of ourselves. Let’s focus on our strengths, but not allow our limitations to dictate the outcome of our efforts. This takes constant, vigilant monitoring, but it can be done.

The other way that we need to “get over ourselves” is when we just take ourselves too seriously. In the change process, a little humility can go a very long way.

My promise to you is that if you apply these three steps to the changes in life that you are trying to make, you will give yourself every opportunity for a lasting, happy and positive outcome.

Onward and upward!

Thank you – Jeremy Daniel

Shared by: Deborah Bryson, Certified Color Code Trainer

Four Great Gift Ideas for Your Yellow Child

Yellows can be pretty fun to buy gifts for. Their enthusiasm plays its part well in gift situations, which can make it fun for the gift giver. If you suspect your child is a Yellow, it may not be hard to pick out gifts for them, especially if the gift is fun. However, gift giving is all the more fun when you feel you have an idea that will make the recipient glow with joy. If your Yellow child has a birthday coming up, here are four gift ideas that will hopefully tickle their love of fun.

1. Surprise them with a puppy.

Is there anything more fun than a puppy? 😉 Surprising kids with pets is a classic, possibly cliche, but memorable gift. Yellows can likely relate to puppies a lot, with their enthusiastic, happy and carefree natures. Surprising your child with a puppy would likely send them through the roof with excitement.

2. Take them on a one-on-one date.

Yellows love attention. If you’ve got other kids, responsibilities, a job, etc., that compete for your attention, your Yellow child may be craving that time with you. For their birthday, plan an outing for just the two of you and make sure it involves something they find fun, even if it’s simple. Maybe you two can go out to ice cream, bowling or just to the duck pond to feed the ducks. Just make sure you shower them with love and attention.

3. Hide gifts around the house during the week.

Spread the birthday fun throughout the week by hiding little gifts around the house. They don’t have to be expensive items. Maybe you hide some bubbles under their bed and later blow bubbles in the backyard together. Another idea is to leave movie tickets in the mailbox for them to find and take them to a movie that night.

4. Try something new with them.

Yellow kids enjoy new experiences. For their birthday, go out and do something they’ve never done before. Maybe that’s rock climbing, mini-golfing, boating or even bowling. It’s your call!

We hope these ideas help you think of ways to make your Yellow child’s birthday wonderful. Yellows, what was your favorite birthday gift you received when you were a kid? Let us know in the comments!

—The Color Code Team

Shared by

Deborah Bryson

Certified Color Code Trainer 

Ask the Expert: Which of the Colors Is the Most Loving?

Which of the four Color Code personality styles tends to be the most loving?

Tricky question, isn’t it? … But I get that kind of thing a lot.

I think some people want to jump to a conclusion and say that Blues are the most loving. My guess is that they do this because we associate Blues as being the most caring, thoughtful, etc. While it is true that those particular personality strengths are most common for Blues, I submit to you that each of the four Colors expresses love in different—though equally significant—ways.

Therefore, our position is that no Color is naturally more “loving” than any other Color. Let’s take a look at how love might be communicated through the lens of each of the four Colors, keeping in mind that this list is not intended to be comprehensive.

How Reds Express Love

One example of how a Red will express love is that they help you solve problems. Reds will “fix” things, but they don’t like to waste their time. So, if you have a Red in your life who takes the time to understand your challenges and they set out to work to help you find and create solutions, that is a very loving gesture for a Red.

Trust me, if they don’t care about you, they won’t spend the time doing it.

How Blues Express Love

One way you will see this play out is in thoughtful, romantic gestures. Blues are the masters of this. They remember details and they use their thoughtfulness to create those exquisitely special moments that you will never forget.

How Whites Express Love

Never underestimate the deep, loving power of patience. Whites are willing to listen to you. They consider where you are coming from, and they suspend their own judgement. And, when things aren’t perfect, they show their love through their willingness to wait and be patient for much, much longer than most people can manage.

How Yellows Express Love

One of the ways that Yellows express love is by being in the moment with you and by wanting to give you more and more of their “moments.” Yellows are easily distracted, and they can easily be pulled in other directions. However, when you have their attention (and heart-felt affection), they want to just be in the moment with you and can be very engaging and attentive.

Those are just a few examples, of course. I would love to hear your comments on how you feel you express love as a Red, Blue, White or Yellow!

Jeremy Daniel, VP Training – Color Code

Shared By:

Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer – Color Code

Identifying a Red Personality’s Needs

Each of us either knows a Red personality or is a Red personality. And while some of the readers out there may know the Red’s strengths and weaknesses, they may not understand their wants and needs. Today, we want to focus on the Red needs in hopes that you can understand them better and know how to treat their personality.

Reds Need to Look Good Technically

Reds need to be able to stand their own ground intellectually. When a Red is faced with a new project, they will do all the research necessary to become knowledgeable in the subject matter. They don’t go to meetings unprepared. Going on vacations with them will be a lot like being on a school field trip—full of factoids.

Reds Need to Be Right

If you are in a relationship with a Red, whether it be a partner, friend, co-worker, employee or employer, remember that Reds need to be right. You may think of them as know-it-alls, and many times you would be correct, but before calling them out on it, ask yourself if A. they ARE right, or B. is it really worth disagreeing given the debate that will surely follow? Pick your battle … and make sure it is one you can win.

Reds Need to Be Respected

This is very important to Reds, possibly more than being loved. If you don’t respect them, it is likely they won’t respect you, leaving a meaningful connection impossible. Without mutual respect, your opinion of them really doesn’t matter. They won’t waste time trying to garner your positive opinion because they simply don’t care.

Reds Need to Attain Approval From a Select Few

So…Reds need respect and we discussed how they react to those they don’t respect. Now let’s talk about those they do. If the Red in your life feels your respect, they will do whatever it takes to validate that respect and maintain your approval. Unlike Yellows, who need to receive approval from the masses, Reds are content to be selective. If you are one of chosen few, you will not be disappointed.

 

Reds may not always be easy to get along with, but it will be easier if you recognize these needs. They surely will appreciate it. For those who didn’t previously know the Red needs, how do you feel this will help you in the future?

 

—The Color Code Team

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~Deborah Bryson, Independent Trainer/Consultant 

Do you sometimes feel like life is against you?

Do you sometimes feel like life is against you?


That things are falling apart?

Like it seems that you get stuck in traffic more often than other people, and that the red lights are against you?

Have you noticed how stressful things often happen all at once?

You drop your phone and break it.

Now you can’t answer that call about that great job you’re going for.

And on the way home your car gets a flat – 
in the pouring rain – 
and you can’t call anyone for help! 

Murphys law says;

“Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.”

(Usually at the worst possible time!) 

Although you’re constantly resisting the process, believe when stressors pile up on top of one another and put you under pressure, this is the compassion of the universe giving you encouragement to change. 

Because humans are stubborn creatures, and to make change we need pressure.


Diamonds are made of carbon, a very common substance all around us.

Your body is 18% carbon.

So you are literally a potential diamond!

Do you know the recipe for a diamond? 

1. Take a lump of carbon 

2. Add pressure equal to 4,000 people standing on your foot 

3. Heat to 2,700 degrees

4. Bake for a thousand years!

Diamonds = carbon + pressure + heat + time. 

We all want diamonds, whether to wear or give to our lovers. 

But we don’t like pressure.

Yet that’s exactly what we need.

Pressure to rub smooth the sharp edges in our personality.

Pressure to give us a reason to let go of stuff we’ve been holding on to for too long.

Pressure melts us from ice to water, so we can flow with the river of life.